CHAPTER 3


When they arrived in Amegakure, Konan led Deidara into the department store. What Deidara found creepy was the fact that everywhere they went, every store they turned in to, people were bowing down to Konan. ‘Weird, un. Maybe I don’t spend as much time in the Amegakure base as I should, un,’ he thought grabbing a cart and placing Sasori into it.

“Why are they bowing un?” Deidara asked, wheeling the cart after Konan.

“It’s… nothing.” Konan replied, nodding to the people they passed. “They just… recognize Akatsuki. We’re very popular in Amegakure, you know.”

“Popular isn’t strong enough a word for this, un.” Deidara rolled his eyes as a pair of men came and kissed Konan’s hand, calling her ‘Angel.’ “Seriously un,” Deidara made a face, “this is sickening.”

“Just because you’ve never been this admired before, you don’t know how to deal with it.” Konan rolled her eyes and led Deidara into an aisle. “Ok, these are baby foods… Let’s see…” Konan scratched her head, making a mental list. “He’ll need this…and this….Oh, and these....” Deidara’s eyes widened as the cart slowly was filled with multitudes of jars.

“And WHO exactly is paying for all this un? I know that tight wad Scrooge Kakuzu isn’t gonna-

“You are.” Konan replied simply, putting in the last jar. “I told you to bring your paycheck.” Deidara groaned and followed Konan through the store.

“Ok, these,” she held up a blue jumper, “are baby clothes.” “I know the selection looks small, but there haven’t been many babies in Amegakure since....” Konan smiled sadly and put the jumper back, “since a long time ago. Just look for clothes that fit 6 month olds to 1st years. I need to go get something.”

“Un...” Deidara stared after Konan is despair. “How am I supposed to know what to get him un?” He sighed while rummaging through the rack infront of him, pulling out a small red sleeper. “What do you think, Sasori-chan?” He held up the sleeper to the baby. “Look ok to you, un?” He smiled at the baby and ruffled his hair. “Me too, un. And look, it’s just your size.” He placed it on top of the food jars and kept searching for more clothes. By the time Konan returned, he had a formidable amount of clothes for Sasori, including shirts, pants, a jumper, the sleeper and a one-piece with footsies.

“Wow, Deidara. That’s a lot to buy for a growing baby.” Konan said, wheeling over her own cart. In it, was a big diaper package and an assortment of other necessities such as baby powder, baby lotion, baby wash, and her own purchases.

“Konan un, why did you buy that un?” Deidara pointed at a package of tampons that sat innocently in Konan’s cart, disgust showing on his face.

“I’m a girl aren’t I?” Konan rolled her eyes. “I got Sasori some diapers and other things you’ll need for him. I hope your paycheck will cover all this.”

“I am not paying for your tampons, un!” Deidara stammered angrily.

“Of course not, you idiot. I’m paying for that separately,” Konan snapped as she dropped a pack of baby’s socks into Deidara’s cart. “Now come on, let’s just pay and get out of here.”

“Right-o, Konan-sama.” Deidara muttered sarcastically, wheeling the cart after Konan.

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The trip back to the Akatsuki hideout required two trips with Deidara’s clay birds just to get the baby suplies over. After divvying up the purchases and putting the baby food jars away, Deidara lugged the rest of the baby supplies up to his room.

“Diapers, bib, utensils, clothes, powder, bathing stuff a.... baby carrier?” Deidara held up the beige contraption, confused. “This is weird, un,” he said as  he tossed the carrier onto the pile of clothes and continued rummaging through the bags.

“This is it, un.” Deidara wrinkled his nose. “Ugh. Sasori, did you just-?” The baby laughed and waved his arms at Deidara. “Someone needs a change, un.” Deidara grumbled, picking up the baby and ripping open the diaper package. After a moment, he doubled back and picked up a bag of baby wipes and the baby powder. “Now let’s get you back to smelling normal, un.”

When he had finished the unpleasant task of changing Sasori, he dressed the baby in one of the footies he had bought. “How about I take you outside, un? The fresh air will do you some good, yeah?” Deidara scooped up the small baby and walked out the door.

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The sky outside was gray and a pleasant breeze was blowing. Deidara wandered into the training grounds that were behind the hideout and sat down next to the small stream, Sasori sitting in his lap.

“Did you know, Sasori-chan, you used to love to sit by this stream?” Deidara asked quietly as the baby reached out with his chubby hands for his reflection in the water. “Danna loved sitting here and just stare at the water, un. He always looked like he was looking for something though.”

A bird swooped down and grabbed a fish from the water, soaring back into the sky. Sasori threw his hands up with a squeal as the reflection in the water disintegrated. Deidara just chuckled.

“You never liked watching the birds, un. And you never liked flying either. I remember after our first mission where I let you fly… you beat me up so bad I couldn’t walk for a week. And all because I flipped the bird around once.” Sasori cooed and put his fist in his mouth, looking up at the blonde man.

“It’s hard to believe that you are the same Sasori-danna I used to know un.” Deidara turned the baby around so that he could look into the big brown eyes. “How could Danna ever be so cute, so innocent, and so… harmless?” He winced as Sasori’s free hand yanked his hair. “Maybe not harmless un.... the Danna I knew was always so violent, you’re just a sweetie.” A rumble of thunder broke out overhead causing Sasori to shiver and buried his face in Deidara’s shirt.

“That’s another thing about Sasori-danna.” Deidara got to his feet and started  on the walk home, rubbing the baby’s back as he walked. “He hated thunderstorms too, un.”

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Deidara was surprised to find everyone sitting at the table when he came in from outside. They all seemed to be waiting for him, so he fixed Sasori’s dinner and sat down at his seat warily.

“What’s going on un?” Deidara asked, spooning a mouthful of mashed carrots and peas into Sasori’s mouth. “Did I miss something?”

Pein looked at Sasori cautiously, and Sasori stared back defiantly, his mouth full of food. “No, we just decided to have a meal together.”

“Ok.” Deidara placed another spoonful into Sasori’s mouth. “Then where’s the food un?”

“It’s in the oven, sempai!” Tobi said cheerfully. “We were just waiting for it.”

“What is it?” Deidara asked warily, wiping Sasori’s mouth.  The baby cooed as he fed him another spoonful.

“We’re having chicken. Oh, isn’t he the cutest thing?” Tobi cooed, leaning over to look at Sasori. The baby stared at him as the orange-masked ninja tickled him under the chin. “Coochi coochi cooo-” Tobi reeled back in surprise as Sasori spit up on him and began to wail.

“Way to go Tobi.” Deidara growled, standing up. “Now he won’t shut up.” He rubbed Sasori from side to side and patted his back.

“I’m sorry sempai!” Tobi said tearfully, earning another glare from Deidara.

“I’m going to go calm him down,un.” Deidara walked towards his room. “Save some for me.”

The walk back to Deidara’s room calmed Sasori down, so that by the time they got into the room, Sasori was only sniffling.

“Oh Danna...” Deidara sighed, burping the infant. “Why didn’t you do more damage to that idiot?” Sasori giggled at that and Deidara smiled at the beaming infant.

“Ok un, time for bed.” He lay Sasori down on the bad and covered him with a blanket. As he turned to leave, a small cry went up and he turned back to see Sasori reaching for him tearfully.

“Shh, Sasori, shhh.” Deidara cooed, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. “Its ok, I’ll be back soon. I won’t let that idiot Tobi hurt you, un.” Sasori didn’t go to sleep though, he kept looking up at his care-taker tearfully.

“Sasori-chan, what’s wrong? What, do you want me to sing, un?” Deidara sighed. “If it’ll make you feel better.” He picked the baby up and paced the room, rocking the baby from side to side.

“Rock-a-bye, and good night,
go to sleep little Scorpling.
Close your eyes, say good night,
go to sleep little baby.”

Deidara rocked the baby and sung to him quietly. After a few moments, he looked down to find Sasori fast asleep. He smiled and laid the baby on the bed. “Good night Scorpling,” he whispered as he left the room, shutting the door behind them quietly.

OWARI ~ END!